Humbled Knowing

I keep having the same experience over and over again in every part of my life. Every situation that occurs in my daily life and every conversation I have fill me with an intense flood of opposing thoughts and emotion. When this happens I start with anxiety, sadness, anger, hurt and frustration. As I think through things more and pray to God for clarity I move to a place of hope, action and an intense drive to change things. Then I come to a place of "knowing". Most people would say that this is a sense of peace and in the past I would have agreed. I call it "knowing" because it is filled with resolve, justification, sureness and goodness. When I get to this place something happens to where I am knocked to my knees by my foolishness. It is devastating and life changing. I now realize that the "peace" I always thought was so important is really just my selfishness. That place of knowing is what causes the most hurt in all my relationships. I am learning that the moment I feel so right and sure about something is the moment I need to be falling to my knees in love for another person.