O.K. folks. I have discovered the winner of the frightening Christian propaganda contest in the form of a Jack O' Lantern Poem. Maybe you didn't know about the contest. Well, I didn't know about it either until I found this. Maybe some of you will find it inspiring so I suppose I am sorry for offending you. I find it strange and slightly disturbing. So here it goes:
Jack O' Lantern Poem
I am a Jack O' Lantern
My lights will shine so bright
For I'm a Christian pumpkin
My symbols tell what's right
My nose is like the cross (I thought it was a triangle)
On which our Savior died
To set us free from sin
We need no longer hide (I would like to hide inside the Jack O' Lantern especially since it's a Christian.)
My mouth is like a fish (? what?, doesn't really look like a fish)
The whole wide world to show
That Christians live in this house
And love their Savior so! (I must not be a credible witness of Christ because I haven't even carved my pumpkin. In fact, today I noticed that it was lying on the ground with a huge hole chewed in the side infested with bugs. I wonder what message that is sending to my neighbors.)
The story starts at Christmas (didn't know the Christian year ended on Halloween. Man, the really conservative Christians are going to be mad they didn't get the memo because they think Halloween is the devil's holiday.)
My eyes are like the star (no they really aren't)
That shone on baby Jesus
And wise man saw from far
My color, it is orange
Just like the big bright sun
That rose on Easter Day
Along with God's own Son
And so on Halloween
Let's set our pumpkins out
And tell the trick or treaters
What God's love is all about (I am sure the little devils' will fall on their knees and repent right on your front porch.)
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